


harry potter, mortal instruments, game of thrones crack fic. a must read

by Saralee_Carr



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Crack, Other, imposter sex, kettle fantasies, pole impaling, shark riding, sugar dadies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:58:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6208088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saralee_Carr/pseuds/Saralee_Carr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"hilariously funny" - ellen degenerative<br/>"a perfect mix between tenticle porn, and Yaoi" - michael obuma<br/>"how i like to spend my tuesdays" - Castiel Novak</p>
            </blockquote>





	harry potter, mortal instruments, game of thrones crack fic. a must read

**Author's Note:**

> we are so sorry for this, we know english, we were bored and religion is fucking boring. we needed a way to get out. enter this weird ass crack fic. Enjoy!

Harry wa sbored , really bored we wnted to do a shark>? Jot like that but like he wanted to ride a shark, also not like that but he wanted to be on the bck of one and ride it around the ocean. But jon snow was in heis way. Jon snow new nothing, he was an idiot he got Es for every subjects. Including the game of thrones course where he got to read about dating khaleesi even though he didn’t ship it, he already did the fric frac with ygrtte. She was totes preggers, butn jon knew nothing, because 1. he was in te knights watch and she be wildling, 2. he was dead. Plus she got it dead in first ten miliseconds, she be major badarse. He rry really wanted to complete his other dream of being the kettle in his GoF dream, thoug he doesn’t think of it as his GoF dream, that would be breakingb the forth walkl , not that he woulf know brak9ing the fouth wall ws a thing cuz no, and he was a wizard, the didn’t have no wifi, and ligyt, and kitchens instead thay had slaved , midget slaves. A girl called hermione set up an organ isation calles spew, a terrible name if you ask harry , but he k new nothing, like jon snow.   
   
Plus his long lost brother fred was visiting, harry who knew nothing, did not connect the dots, his long lost brother s name was weasly, he didn’t know nothin' he sisnt kn ow that he had another lng lost brother called george whon was his best friends brother. But like harry,m there are other teen wboys with hormones and crushes, and 'urges' (says my mother when talking about our homosexual guinea pig.) these bois well the majority were werewolves, ohhhh spoopy!!!!!! I QAMT MA MOMMY, not really friend killed for minuture secsond s thanthey all wanted to killherry, because, lez be honest, harry only haz wand, he got no muscles, or barins, he knew nothin' the werewolves has muscles and claws and supernaturals stuff, plus they had a hulk. Since casue herry was a lanky skinny white guy. He had to put on mudclr so he listended to eminem in the shower.   
   
Many many miles away, and men I say many I mean many, like 2000000000 billion miles away. Jace herondale and clary morganstern were doin the do, in the bath with church. Jace cried in agony as he felt a scar appea, or even woser on his face, diresrctl on his forehead. He has the new harry potter, except he fight demons, not weird wizars that weilds sticks. Then h\ ignore that!!! Please.!!!! Then jace had a sudedn realization. What if lcary was a fragment of his imaginetion or even wose a disguize, HE WAS DOING THE FRIC FRAC WITH SEBASTIAN, the eVIL one not pony riding pussy. The one who wantsed to date his sister, though she is tied up in the base ment, bu jase didn’t know that. Jase also didn’t know that sabastian wanted jase aswell, he wanted to be vclarys sugar daddy, and jases homo best firend, sabastian unlike harry potter, who died from a wack on the gead from a ghosted out dobby, and jon snow who also died., he k new everything. Evemn the reason why racoons are things. (le be honest here why are raccoons thing?!?!?!/) so he also knew that harry potter was hella gaiii and that certain aspect has transferred into jaces mentle harry potter bank, which ha axedentaly withdrew from ecactly .78548367 seconds ago. And gained the homosexual aspect, lez be honest, harry waz totes pinning after draco, and perhaps dsemus.  
   
Jase instantly kill Sebastian , he was all like why bra we had a special moment there. Why bro” we could have been magnuses otp or better yut the fandoms.” Stop breaking the forth wall shouts and angry and frustrated author. “well sor ry I just know everything, unlike those puny potals harry and jon, THEY KNOW NOTHIN” NOTHIN’ !!!!!! I am immortal I am the slayer of baes! I am the dan and phil PHANDOM, I am immortal, I can not die. I AM A THOUSAND YEARS OLD, YOU CANT BEAT ME”  
Jace was paralyzed , Sebastian know what youtube was, jece only knew that ebay was a magical place filed with magical things, well that was what clarry told him, or was it clary?!?!?!?!? Was Sebastian pinning on his own clone>!!!!! *Gasps* jace was sudds flodded with distant memories of harry potter, his secret suger daddy, Sirius. His flings with ALL the weasly boiiiis and how he died … he took it too deep.   
NO NOT LIKE THAT GET YO MIND OUTTA THA GUTTER !!!!!!!!!!! a pole was shoved through his back as a weird girl with anger management name d kore, I ship her with liam neeson, toted adorbs, back to the pont. Harry died a not so spontainius death like srslty dude a pole wow, slow claps*.  
   
THE END?!?!?!?!?  
Or is it (ohhh spoopy)


End file.
